to travel by post and be her guest
here on August 25, when you may
attend a ball and go on a quest.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming.
“La di da, la di da … your attendance is requested
At a ball where your detection skill shall be tested.
Wait, what is this? Hold closer the candle.
Stars and garters, there’ll be such a scandal!
Oh, Hill! Hill! Fetch the smelling salts!
The invitation says they’re planning a waltz.
Why were Jane and Elizabeth ever allowed to attend?
Oh, right. We trusted Mr. Darcy and called him friend.
Mr. Bennet! Mr. Bennet! We must hie across Town.
Hill, come upstairs and stuff me into a frilly ball gown."